labbaloo

I tell Carter and Kailin and Colby "Mama loves you!" about 9 bazillion times a day. Yesterday, after only ever having repeated it back to me in Chinese, Carter gleefully announced "Mama labbaloo!" with a smile on his face. Since then "labbaloo" and "Mama labbaloo" have taken over as his most oft spoken phrase. It's beyond darling and I'm hoping to get it on video before it's gone.

He was also really taken with "haaaalowwwww" today. Nothing will ever beat "labbaloo" as far as I'm concerned, but "haaaaalowwww" was a close second.

Oh how I labbaloo, Carter! You have brought so much joy to our lives. What an amazing gift you are!

It breaks a mama's heart

Yesterday afternoon I took the big kids to see The Muppet Movie. It was a really great movie (although I think I enjoyed it a bit more than the kids did). When we arrived home, Carter literally jumped up and down with joy and screamed and shrieked with delight when he saw us coming up the driveway. I got in the door and he threw his arms around me and I heard a cheerful chorus of "Hao mama! Hao mama! Hao mama!"

Steve told me that after we left, Carter cried for a couple of minutes and then sought out his beloved backpack. He brought it in the living room, opened it up, and extracted the picture of him and his best friend. Steve said that then he sat in the overstuffed chair and talked very quietly to himself for quite some time. Steve wasn't sure whether to intervene or let it go since Carter wasn't visibly upset and Steve thought maybe he was processing something. After fifteen minutes or so, Steve invited Carter to join him on the sofa. He did, but he made sure he had his backpack. After a little while longer, he put his picture away, but Steve said that the backpack had to be on the whole time we were gone. He kept it on until the kids and I had been home about 15 minutes and then he finally took it off.

He climbed up into my lap and said something that sounded very sweet and heartfelt and then have me a very tight hug and a kiss. I don't know if I've ever felt more loved than I did in that moment.

I'm glad I got out and I'm glad that I was able to get the big kids out to do something special. I'm also glad I was able to start teaching Carter that I go away, but I always come back. But I'm also very sad that my little guy was so shaken by the experience that he felt the need to keep his "stuff" so close and ready to go. He was pretty clingy last night, and despite literally falling asleep at the table, he was pretty reluctant to go to sleep. I think it was a hard day for him. I'm hoping to make today a much easier one!

another Merry Christmas

It's late and I know my little angels (read....well...you just use your imagination on that one) will be up plenty early. I really would like to wax poetic on how wonderful this Christmas truly is in our house and I'm not saying that I won't do it at a later date. I also still owe my youngest child a birthday post. Yowza!

But I did just want to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas! (Three cheers for the self timer on the camera and the miracle of three kids smiling AND looking at the camera! The memory of taking this picture (this is the FIRST try!) and the subsequent ones and watching the kids literally jump off the hearth and run to see the results, squealing and giggling the whole time, will be with me for many years to come!)

the down low

Last night after school Colby was being a....turkey. He's the one who is struggling most with the addition of Carter and although he's never outwardly mean to his new brother, it's becoming clear that he really wants us to prove that we will love him with our whole hearts, every minute of every day, NO MATTER WHAT.

Anyway, he was just challenging me at every turn. I was really about at my wit's end with him and Kailin came over to me, smiled, and said, "Don't worry, Mom. Remember the down low on the elf. He's going to report this to Santa tonight." (we have an Elf on the Shelf) "The 'down low'?" I inquired. "Yep," she said with a grin, "the down low." Great, my six year old is getting hip.

Wha-at....I didn't say the F word!

Tonight after dinner I was hoisting Carter over my shoulder and spanking his behind. He was giggling wildly and Kailin wanted a turn. I agreed, but I told her we'd have to do it fast because Colby was in the bathroom and he's too heavy for me to do that to. I hoisted her up and spun her around and then set her down again. Carter wanted another turn, so up he went. Colby came out of the bathroom and asked if he could have a turn. "Oh, no, buddy. You're too big!" "Yeah, you're too heavy!" Kailin cheered. "STOP!" I mouthed to her. "Wha-at? I didn't say the F word!!!" Oh to be young and innocent again. I had a good laugh about that one!

Experimental baking

Today is Carter's birthday. He apparently felt that we should get the party started and not waste a minute. He was up at 12:40 and thus, so was I.

I figured I'd probably be sleeping most of the morning, so I thought I'd better get something done. I figured making a box cake would be a pretty benign middle of the night activity. Carter was very inquisitive and couldn't quite see into the bowl using his stool, so I got him a chair to stand on. That made for a very happy birthday boy! I'm always keen to share my love of cooking and baking with the kids, so I was happy to let him get close and watch. I dumped the mix into the bowl, added the oil and the water and then noticed that the batter seemed overly runny. I added the eggs and realized that the batter WAS overly runny. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I measured the oil correctly. In my midnight stupor, I doubled the water. Ugh. No more box cakes in the house. Time to wing it! I added a cup of flour and "some" sugar. The batter looked right so I let it fly. I had extra (go figure) so I filled a mini pie plan - figuring that it would allow me to see if the cake was indeed edible. Thankfully, it is.

Fool that I am, I moved on to making some Christmas cookies. They were both easy, simple recipes and I had confidence that I'd succeed. Anyone who says that Carter will be limited by having only one hand does not know this boy! I was unwrapping Andes Candies to melt for "poor man's Thin Mints" and he grabbed a couple and set about figuring out how to unwrap him. I was glad that he opted not to use his teeth, which tends to be his go-to tactic. Carter moved on over to the countertop when I moved to the stove to melt the chocolate and he delightedly flung Ritz crackers into the bowl when I was ready. I just may have another baker on my hands, and I'd be delighted if that's the case! Both batches of cookies went off without a hitch and I even made the frosting for the cake without any further incident. I decided it best to quit while I was ahead and settled in to watch Elf and wait for the next shift to come on so that this tired mama can get some shut eye.

Unceremonial

Getting our Christmas tree is a pretty big deal around here. Each year we go to a tree farm and cut down a tree. This year we really debated whether to get our tree Thanksgiving weekend (tradition)before we left for China or wait until we got home. In the end we decided to wait until we got home, figuring that it would be a fun family activity.




It would have been a fun family activity, but we weren't feeling the love this weekend. I actually can't even remember why we didn't go Saturday. I think it might have been that Sunday was predicted to be warmer. I do know that we had a very LAZY day on Saturday, so I'm sure that contributed. Sunday was the day of the "up at 2:15" scenario and we were in fear that Carter would zonk out in the car on the way to the tree and never sleep that night.

With Christmas fast approaching, we decided to head to Steins tonight and just buy a pre-cut tree. It was dark when we arrived even though we went as soon as the kids got off the bus, so the tree farm would have been out for sure. As we pulled in, something seemed amiss. There were (understandably in retrospect) very few trees on the lot. VERY few. We decided to forge ahead since we needed a tree and I wanted to take the kids on a tour of the Christmas tree room - a fond childhood memory of mine. In some ways the lack of selection was somewhat nice. It was chilly tonight and it made the decision somewhat easy. Colby asked where the saw was. He was perplexed when we informed him that these trees were already cut down. Ha! The big kids were actually fairly uninterested in the process leading me to believe that Steve and I could just have taken Carter and gone while they were at school! Oh well. We picked our tree and had it netted and I snapped some pictures of the kids while Steve and the Steins guys got it loaded onto the roof of the Jeep. Of course the moment I got Carter to smile, Colby was hamming it up. I figure they were all looking at the camera - good enough!

The Christmas tree room was really disappointing. I recall 20 or so trees all decked out and my favorite was always the "fruit loop tree" (the one with the garland of multicolored fruit loop shaped, glittery Os). No fruit loop trees this year. In fact there were only about 5 decorated trees at all. The kids still had a lot of fun looking at them and we tried some more pictures. It was fun to see their eyes get wide at all of the decorations as we walked the aisles. Kailin rattled off a litany of "I like that one!" "That one is so pretty!" "If I could choose, I would choose this one" (the short version of that is that she'd choose them all!) Colby was smitten with anything penguin and most things gaudy. That made me laugh.

Our Christmas tree adventure this year was pretty unceremonial, but we did it as a family and we had fun all the same. Let's hope that the tree doesn't have 13 backs when we bring it in the house!

Merry Christmas!

Dear Friends and Family,

It's 5:30am on Thanksgiving morning. I got up ahead of our crew to start the dough for the Thanksgiving rolls. I'm not grumbling, though. Sitting here in the dark, still quiet gives me a good chance to reflect on the amazing number of things I have to be thankful for this year. And there are truly an amazing number.

I'm trying something new this year - blogging my Christmas tome...er... volume...no...I mean...infinitely detailed descr.....nope...that's not it either....oh! letter!...that's what I call it! See, the great thing is I can dot dot dot all I want because I'm no longer confined to a single page of paper! Isn't that just fantatic? Aren't you excited?? I thought so. I am, too - let's dive in!

Perhaps our biggest blessing, and biggest surprise, came last year on December 21 when we awoke to an email from our adoption agency asking if we'd be willing to consider a 2 year old boy. We said we would be, and I saw his face and read his file and knew he'd be a great fit in our family, so we said YES that same day. Unfortunately, we also had to wait for China to say yes, so we weren't able to share our happy news at Christmas. We were approved in time to announce Carter on New Year's Day, though! What a big start to the year! That journey is finally culminating with Steve and I leaving in just a week to go to China and bring Carter home. The kids are beyond excited - and they get a two week vacation with our best friends in the world while we're gone. Bless our friends for offering to take the kids for us - we think they'll do great with their favorite playmates and it's one less thing we have to worry about while we're gone.

Our big family adventure for the year came in July when we took a five day camping trip with those same friends. Both kids adore camping, mosquitoes and all, and Steve and I are thrilled to share our love of the outdoors with them. This year we were able to hike on a railroad trestle bridge that goes out over a lake, had hours of fun at a Nature Center, visited an amazingly fun and educational children's museum, made s'mores, and even had an outdoor screening (thanks to Uncle Eric who, in Colby's words, "makes the fun") of Harry Potter. It was a whirlwind adventure and we were happily tired to the bone every night, but we enjoyed every minute and made so many happy memories. We didn't even get into any poisonous plants this year.

Kailin has blossomed into a beautiful six year old who is really enjoying first grade. She loves school and is thrilled to be learning to read. She's making a lot of progress and it's fun to see her skills develop and to see her joy when she figures out something she's been working on. Kailin had quite a few visits from the Tooth Fairy this year, and I suspect there were a lot of other kids losing teeth as well because one time the Tooth Fairy was so busy that she was LATE! Another time, she was so intuitive (and must have been bored) that she came and got the tooth before Kailin had even put it under her pillow! Good thing the Tooth Fairy has such a good reputation and brings money or those might have been unforgivable slip ups!! Kailin still struggles with wearing her emotions on her sleeve (as does her..ahem....rather fiery and often oversensitive mama...), but at the same time, I love that about her. You always know how Kailin's feeling and there's something about that honesty that seems to have been lost in today's world. Thankfully, she's most often happy and I love to see her wear that one proudly. I can see the beginnings of her journey into being a more grown up girl when she comforts her brother or when she says "thanks for making supper, Mom" even when it isn't her favorite meal. I can't wait to see her with her new brother, and she is just smitten as smitten can be with him.

Colby is still our ham. He's a performer to end all performers. If he's got an audience of any kind, the mic is on. He's almost five now and is truly enjoying 4k this year. He's got the same teacher as Kailin had and if she thought she was in for another Kailin... well...let's just say she doesn't think that anymore! He's doing great in school and making friends. He loves art and music, not shockingly, and is always game to regale us with a play by play of how he created his latest masterpiece or sing and dance his way through the latest song they've learned in class. For all his hammyness (I'm not sure that's a word. I'm guessing it's not. It's my letter, though, so it is now!), he's still my tender boy and although it takes quite a bit to hurt him physically (he recently endured a turkey bite at the pumpkin farm with nary a tear), his little heart gets broken if he thinks you're disappointed in him and big tears fill up his eyes and tumble down his chubby little cheeks. He's also a bit of an ox at times, and I keep reminding myself "this will serve him well later in life...this will serve him well later in life....". He's excited to be sharing his room again, as I think he's been a little lonely since Kailin moved out earlier this summer.

Both kids got brand new rooms this year and both love the end result. A big thanks to Steve's parents for taking the kids for two weekends so that we could paint in peace without our two art crtics! It pained me to paint over the border we'd painted in Kailin's room when we waited for her to come home, but the results are something that she loves and she's repeatedly told me so. That eases the pain a bit. Colby enjoys his room as well, although he doesn't comment on it quite as often as Kailin does. Carter's bed is all set and waiting for him, and I can't wait to see him snuggled into it!

Steve and I are really excited about going back to China - we've missed the food and the pedestrian lifestyle. What better way to spend our eighth anniversary than at the American Consulate swearing to love and provide for Carter forever? We'll have a third wheel at our anniversary dinner, but somehow I don't think we'll mind!

I am in fact adding this paragraph after we are back from China. I couldn't let it stand to say that I don't know much about Carter. He is a joyful little imp and although it's sometimes CLEAR that he's in that two-three age bracket (can we say TANTRUM?!), those times are far fewer than the ones where he is giggling and laughing and playing jokes on people. He adores his sister and enjoys playing rough with his brother. I have now seen him snuggled into his bed and it warms my heart. We've only known this boy for two weeks and I already can't imagine our life without him. He's woven his way into our family in an inextricable way and we are already blessed beyond measure by his presence.

I know I've already gone on far longer than a page would allow, so I'll bring this chronicle to a close. On this day, and hopefully on all days in the year to come, we pause and give thanks for the blessings in our life. I am thankful for my Faith and for a God who loves me in spite of all my faults, for a loving, caring husband who has made the past ten years of my life more amazing than I ever could have imagined, and for my three beautiful children and for their birth mothers who chose to give them life and allowed them to become blessings in mine. I am thankful for all of the everyday adventures that make up my life and that I am blessed by the wisdom that comes from experience. I truly hope that your families and homes are filled with the warmth and joy that this season can bring. I know our home, crazy as it may be, will be bubbling over with the joy of Christmas this season. I pray that it may last in our home, and in yours, throughout the year to come.

With much love,
Sarah, Steve, Kailin, Colby, and Carter

on being a family

It's 4:35 and I've been up for a little over 2 hours. No, I'm not suffering from jet lag, but apparently my youngest child is. Steve and I stayed up til around 1 (probably made possible thanks to jet lag) wrapping Christmas gifts. At about 2:15 I thought I heard a noise. I groggily investigated and found our bedroom door ajar. Upon rolling out of bed and putting my glasses on, I found that the hall light was on. Stumbling further, it was clear that the light in the boys' bedroom was also on, Colby was wide awake, and Carter was gone. Wait, GONE?!? I checked the bathroom and then inquired. "Oh, he's downstairs." Colby told me. HUH?! WHY is he downstairs?? I bumbled down the stairs as fast as my 1 hour and fifteen minutes of sleep body could carry me. More lights on. Carter was calmly playing with the fridge farm, although he was excited to see "hao mama". Back upstairs I went to tuck a now very angry Colby in. Back downstairs to deal with Carter and I can hear Colby on the monitor. Back upstairs. Colby's angry that Carter gets to get up and he does not. Sorry, Charlie...er...Colby. It's 2:15 am. No free pass for you.

Being up in the middle of the night is not actually why I'm writing this post. It's a post I meant to write on Friday, but I was just too zonked.

Something that struck me while we were in China is that as I was showing Carter the pictures of Kailin and Colby and identifying them as "Jiejie" and "Gege" there was really not much way for him to differentiate that Jiejie and Gege from any other kids since it is fairly common practice in China to use very familial terms on perfect strangers. More than once as we were walking around, a mother would identify Carter to her child as "Gege" and her child to him as "xiao Meimei" or "xiao Dede". Any woman older than you are is an "ayi" (auntie). So when this thought occurred to me I wondered just how he'd react to his siblings as he hadn't really wanted to interact with ANY child in China.

It also occurred to me that although Kailin has gone through this before, it's still kind of an odd thing to bring home an actual walking, talking child and say "this is your brother" and trust that your child will just take you at your word that this is her brother and not a stranger or a friend or a cousin. And for Colby it's all new. I realize that parents of newborns basically do the same thing, but I feel like the older child has experienced the baby growing in mom's belly vs. just looking at a picture.

And yet when Kailin bounded up the sidewalk, a visible transformation occurred in Carter. He smiled and flirted with her from the get go and it wasn't more than 15 minutes and he was on the floor playing with Colby. Likewise, both of the older kids have been all about their brother - doting on him and making sure he's okay, following him around "helping him" when he needs it (and sometimes when he doesn't). He's running around smooching on both of them, asking them to pick him up and hug him, and offering them his short arm. He's already cracking jokes and being his hammy little self. He's home and he truly seems to know it.

It's truly been amazing to witness and strengthens my faith that God chose these children just for us.

the sweet harmony of home

Carter woke up around 2am and couldn't get back to sleep. I put Curious George on for him while Steve and I dozed on the bed. Steve, bless his heart, got up with him at 5:30 or so and let me sleep until 8:30.

It sounds like things went pretty well downstairs until I brought the dogs down. Then it got a little ugly. Carter was again TERRIFIED of the dogs. He didn't even want us to hold him on the couch. He wanted us to stand and hold him. I tried sitting him on the counter while I peeled him an apple - no dice. Even though I figured this phase would be short lived, I still found myself wondering how on earth I was going to function with a 33lb toddler high on my hip. Around 9am, it was clear that he was going to nod off on my lap. We decided to put him down for a nap and let him sleep til about noon and then aim to keep him up the rest of the day in hopes of trying to regulate his schedule.

We spent Carter's nap sorting through mail and catching up on some tv. Our luggage arrived (hooray!) just before it was time to wake him up. When it was time to wake him...well....let's just say that I got him fully dressed and he still hadn't opened his eyes. I finally got him downstairs and he consented to eat half a container of yogurt before he again became somewhat terrified by the dogs and then lazed on my lap groggily threatening to return to his slumber. I wasn't sure what we were going to do with him since it's hard to engage a toddler who won't consent to be put down and would really prefer to be held in your arms while you stand. Luckily, we didn't have long to wait before my mom called to say that the big kids were on their way. I warned her that Carter was in a bit of a foul mood and she in turn warned me that Colby was sleeping and had a cold. We agreed that we'd just have to see how things panned out.


Kailin was out of the car before it stopped (not really, but it seemed that way) and bounding up the front walk anxious to see us and her new brother. Colby staggered out of the car and up the walk a couple of minutes later. He was groggy, but smiling. Carter wasn't sure what to make of it, but I caught him smiling at Kailin. I told him in Mandarin that these were his sister, brother, and grandma and he continued to smile as he looked at each one in turn. The dogs were barking and it was clear that he was scared by that, but he held it together well.

We moved on into the house and Kailin came on over to snuggle with Carter and me. Within minutes, Carter was ON THE FLOOR playing with my mom and a Percy push train and then Colby stepped in and Carter played with him, too. My heart brimmed completely over as I watched my kids playing together for the first time. Not long at all after that, all three kids were chasing through the house giggling and laughing. My heart sang. The transformation in Carter was profound. He still didn't like the dogs right up near him, but he was able to go back to declaring them "hao gao" (how go - nice dog) with a smile on his face.

By the time my mom left, Carter was even willing to give her a peck on the cheek. Kailin was continuing to ask repeatedly what Carter's Chinese name is (he doesn't yet answer to 'Carter' - so we'd tried to tell Kailin that she might have to call him Dongchen for now). She was calling him Dungchen and also Dongchow off and on, to our amusement. The kids played merrily together for the rest of the afternoon. It was an amazing feeling to have things going so well and to have sweet harmony in our home. It won't always be this harmonious - that much I know - but I will absolutely drink in every single moment while it lasts.

As I type this, there are three kids snug in their beds sleeping soundly. (Carter did try to climb in with Colby, but we worried for his safety if we'd let him!) My heart and my home is at peace for tonight and that is an amazing gift.

fly away home

After 26 hours of total travel, we finally made it home last night. Thanks to my new friend Dramamine, I felt pretty good most of the trip. Carter was a true trooper. We got him to bed late on Wednesday night because of our dinner out and subsequent need to purchase additional luggage. We had to wake him early on Thursday morning, try to stuff some raman noodles and a yogurt into him and then try to shuffle him down to the lobby so we could check out.

Minor snag when we hit the airport and they said that his DOB on the ticket didn't match his DOB in his passport. We were quite thankful to have our guide on hand to fix things for us!


Steve and I hadn't eaten any breakfast, so after we bought Carter an orange and he wolfed that down, we got a couple of muffins, a scone, and some lattes at Starbucks. I tried the cranberry white chocolate mocha and it was really yummy. His Royal Highness also enjoyed it. I told him to live it up because Mommy doesn't share her Starbucks!

We boarded the plane to Beijing and by the time we lifted off, our boy was asleep. He slept about 2/3 of the 3 hour flight. He really wanted to be on our laps during the descent and landing, but did alright with it in the end.

We were supposed to have a 4 hour layover in Beijing, but by the time we took a potty break, got our bags, went through customs and immigration, and rechecked the bags, that time was mostly eaten up. We bypassed the restaurants located before security in favor of getting to the gate and resolving our seating problem (We went online and chose our seats, but at the last minute they changed from a 3-3-3 seating pattern to a 2-5-2 seating). That meant we'd be seated in an L with two of us together and the other ahead.) only to be told by the gate agent that the flight was full and there was "nothing she could do". I was NOT pleased and then we found out that there were no restaurants on our side of security. GRRRRR!!!! I scavenged some almonds and chips at the gift shop and scored....A DIET COKE for each of us and two bottles of water for Carter and the plane ride so that we wouldn't get dehydrated.

When we finally boarded, we were informed of a special security detail and our carryons were searched and I was lucky enough to be wanded (again). Additionally, they made us ditch the unopened waters and not nearly gone diet cokes. Any guesses what that did for my mood? We took our seats and noted to each other that on top of all the other stuff, the flight crew seemed like a bunch of crabby jerks. It wasn't too long and Carter was asleep again. Unfortunately, it didn't last. He was awake and crabby after about 45 minutes. About an hour after that, I hit a total wall. My beloved husband stepped in and came back to our row and held Carter and convinced him to go back to sleep while I dozed on and off. He slept for about the next 9 hours. Steve and I switched "holding duty" half way through. He woke up just in time for the "light lunch meal". We ordered him noodles which he proceeded not to eat. The crew (about whom we were totally mistaken) doted on him and brought him anything they thought he might be willing to eat. In the end he had a couple of bananas and some watermelon and bread. Everyone commented on what a good traveler he was and although I couldn't actually take any credit, I beamed with pride. The crew was actually great, and kept us in stitches the whole time. One guy asked if we wanted "feather or leather" for supper and then also told us that he has a strict motto of "I'm not happy until you're not happy". The first time he said it I thought he'd misspoken. The second time, I knew he was a total goof. As we were leaving the plane (last, thanks to being in the last row and having Mr. Shortlegs), when they typically say that they're ready for all call and cross check, he declared "all ready for cross dress! Oops, are there still passengers here?" We were dying laughing!

We deplaned and headed for customs, passports in hand as instructed. Little did we know that it was about 900 miles to customs. While we waited in line, a woman with a tiny beagle, whose name turned out to be Gidget - and it totally fit her!, worked the crowd. Gidget "hit" and it was really fun to watch her find which bag had the contraband in it (apples). The woman whose bag it was was truly apologetic, but I can't say that I know what happened to her after that. The line moved quickly and we had every hope of catching our next plane despite a small time crunch. We were cleared through customs and moved on to immigration. It looked like a potential bottleneck, but actually it wasn't. We had an hour before our flight and figured we were doing well. Got our bags checked back in and took the shuttle to the concourse, cleared security (bless the agent who directed us to the shortest line since were a family with a small child) and found that they were already boarding our flight. It was a puddle jumper and although we had a really rough landing, we were really glad to be home. After waiting 40+ minutes for our luggage, it was determined that although we made the Chicago/Milwaukee flight, our luggage did not.

We came home and got ourselves somewhat settled. Carter was terrified of the dogs, and we were praying that it would be short lived. We hit the hay at 11pm and were all sound asleep fairly quickly.

It was a great trip and a smooth trip home, but it was also lovely to be in our own home.

Last day adventures

It's late, but we are packed and ready to go. I'm tired, but I know that this blog post won't happen if I don't do it now. I will have to add the pictures later because I'm just not getting up to get the camera and load the pictures onto the computer.

We had the day to ourselves today until 4:30 when we needed to be back at the hotel to get Carter's Immigrant Visa. We planned to get right up and get a move on. Carter planned to sleep until 8:30. It was okay - we were showered and ready to go when he got up.

We enjoyed one more extravagant breakfast at the buffet (we'll be leaving too early in the morning to make it down there for breakfast) and then took a nice long walk in the garden. I got some great pictures and Carter threw a very loud tantrum when Steve held his hand while I snapped away. Ugh! Thankfully he recovered nicely. We were wondering why the hotel had scattered star fruit across the lawn as we had never observed any birds in the garden. We looked up and discovered that the answer was that we were standing beneath a star fruit tree. That was pretty neat! Our guide found us walking in the garden, so we were able to ask her for the address to the electronics market. It was one thing that we really wanted to do and hadn't. We were looking for a few key items.

We met up with the other family still here, loaded into two taxis, and raced off for the market. We arrived in one piece and then decided to split up. We did find what we were looking for, but didn't get as good of a deal as we had hoped. We saved a ton of money and are happy with what we got. We were disappointed to learn that iPads are more expensive here than in the States due to the import tax. No iPads for us!

We tried to catch a cab to Shamien Island, but no one knew what that was, so we ended up coming back to the hotel, dropping off the loot, and then catching a cab to the Island. While we were waiting for Steve to come back downstairs (I didn't dare take Carter upstairs since I knew he'd start flinging his clothes off!), I decided to take a picture of the Christmas Tree in the lobby. Carter, to my surprise, deliberately posed and flahed me a smile! We didn't have nearly as much time to shop on Shamien as we would have liked, but we did get what we went for as well as some stuff we didn't know we were interested in. ha! The competition on the island is fierce now and the sales are a lot pushier. It's sad, really, that these merchants now have to struggle to stay in business. I really couldn't believe how little was left of the Shamien Island I remembered. Although the prices we found this time were HUGELY inflated over what they were 5 years ago, I found it very very hard to try to bargain much. Stuff was still reasonable - just not cheap. Carter had fun walking along the low walls. We never did get to look for the geocaches we planned to find. I'm bummed about that part.

We came back to the room and started packing while we waited for the call to come down and get Carter's visa. We determined we needed to buy another carryon, but figured it could wait until after dinner. We met our new friends Pierre, Cory, and Toby for dinner. They knew of a "hole in the wall" traditional Chinese restaurant. We were all in for that! YUM!!! It was SO good! We all had our fill and then walked back to the hotel together. The boys had fun playing with the glow-sticks we brought. Then we were off to buy a suitcase and an ice cream cone.

Carter wasn't sure what to make of the ice cream at first. It was a lot like watching a baby eat a new food. By the end, he was pretty into it. What a fun way to end our trip.

Tonight is bittersweet. All of our clothes now have varying levels of stink, and some of our pants can probably stand up on their own. I miss Kailin and Colby horribly. I'm ready to go home. I love this place and the people and culture. (and food). I want to stay. Carter will relinquish his Chinese citizenship when he becomes an American citizen. He will no longer hear most everyday conversation in a language he understands. His whole world will change again. I know that we will bring the kids back someday. I will carry that in my heart tomorrow along with a prayer of thanksgiving that our trip was such an amazing one and that God chose such a wonderful boy to be a part of our family. I will also carry a prayer of hope that Dramamine is the wonder drug that will keep me from being sick!

Happy Anniversary!

Yesterday was our anniversary (here). We spent the rest of the day in a leisurely sort of way. We put Carter down for a much needed nap in the afternoon and then we just putzed around reading the paper and watching tv.

We walked around at the Friendship Store after Carter's nap, but it was a bit too high falutin' for us and we didn't buy a thing. He did fall down on the marble (tripped on Mama's big feet) and wailed loud enough to call people out from the stores to look. I was glad that he got over it quickly!!

We met the rest of our group for a picture in front of the giant Christmas tree downstairs and then we all went out for a traditional Chinese dinner. YUM! There were a few things I wasn't too sure about (nothing scary - just combinations/temperatures I wouldn't have thought of), but everything was positively delicious! Even the cooked dragon fruit - totally out of my normal box, was just wonderful. Some of us stopped at 7-11 on the way home for some "big beers". I joked that the t-shirt for this trip should read "China 2011. 7-11. Big Beers." I think - no, I KNOW that I have drunk more beer in the past 7 days than I have in the past year - maybe more! Why does beer here taste so good? Tsing Tao does NOT taste like this back home!

Being in China expanding our family was a lovely and unique way to spend our anniversary. Here's to eight (or eighty) more fun filled years!

WAHOO!!! We're DONE!

I was too tired to post much last night except for the sweet nothings, but yesterday was a pretty big day! We got up early and went to the American Consulate. They don't allow any electronics, so we left the camera and the videocamera in the room. I so wish we'd taken them and just left them with our guide.

We arrived at the Consulate a couple of hours early because the other family in our group with a child over the age of two had their appointment at 8:00 (ours was at 10:00). Our guide told us there was a large park across the street, so we decided to take a stroll. We saw the Chinese Ikea on the way - that was kind of fun! The park was small/medium by US standards, but very large by suburban Chinese standards. It was BEAUTIFUL! There were two wide, Banyan tree lined corridors and then a big open space (paved in marble) in the middle. There were groups of people doing exercise to music, one doing TaiChi and another doing some other kind of coordinated movement. It was really neat to see. Carter was a little shaken and nervous after we'd been in the lobby of the Consulate, so he wanted to be carried. That was fine and dandy for awhile, but then he got a bit heavy. There were several skyscrapers under construction nearby and Carter became mesmerized by the huge cranes lifting things up. We sat down on a little wall and watched for a good long time. An older Chinese woman pushing a stroller stopped by and was laughing at my capris. Even though we feel like it's warm here, this is their winter and there are people everywhere in winter coats and scarves. Finally it was time to head back.

We went into the lobby and then up to the fourth floor where they checked our passports to make sure we were us and then sent us on (our guide couldn't go any further) to the fifth floor where the adoptions unit is located. We went through security and into the waiting area. There were a total of 12 families by the time 10:00 rolled around. It was fun to chat with some of the other parents about where our kids were from, how many we each had, what our kids had been up to since we'd had them (almost all of the families had children over 2), and when we were headed home. An American woman called attention and gave us all some advice about what was about to happen and what we should do with various bits of paperwork. Then she asked us all to stand and take an oath on behalf of our child. We promised that all of the statements we've given, both written and oral, are true to the best our our knowledge. Carter wanted to be held for part of and then wanted to be put down so that he, too, could raise his right hand. At the end of our statements the officer said, "Congratulations! You've completed the steps necessary to gain your child's immigrant Visa. He or she will become a US Citizen as soon as you pass through Immigration at your Port of Entry." I have no idea why, but I was a teary mess! I didn't cry at Kailin's Consulate appointment. I'm so happy that we've completed everything WE can do for Carter's adoption. He is now ours in the eyes of China and the United States. We will readopt him in Wisconsin so that he can have an american birth certificate, but it is only a formality. He should have his Certificate of Citizenship and Social Security Number in about 45 days. We're DONE!!!! It's been a LONG road and not all of it has been easy, but we are just thrilled beyond words to have Carter in our family and already can't imagine life without his impish grin or his hysterical, infectious giggle, or the light in his eyes when they squinch up when he smiles. He is an amazing and wonderful child and I am so thankful and blessed that God chose him for us.

whispering sweet nothings in my ear

Several times now, Carter has whispered me a whole story. I so wish that he wasn't so camera shy because I would LOVE to tape it. I drink in every single moment and wonder just what it is that he's telling me. I am so sad that all too soon his days of whispering (or speaking) fluent Mandarin will come to a close.

He told me a loud (and lengthy) series of stories tonight before bed. I managed to get about 5 minutes of it on tape, although it's audio only. I'm going to ask one of our friends to listen and see if he knows what Carter's saying. I think at least part of the story involves his foster mom and foster brother. I'll be really curious to know what it was. And I'm really glad to have gotten it on tape.

chestnuts roasting on an open fire, jack frost nipping at someone else's nose

We got some great pieces of jade for the kids and for ourselves, as well as good prices on a few other things we were looking for. We had asked Ann what kind of nuts we saw being roasted in giant woks all over the city. She said they were chestnuts and are very popular here. She said they're 12 yuan (about $2)/lb, so on our way to a taxi we had her get us some. Carter lit up like a firecracker and couldn't eat them fast enough. I tried one and it was okay, but nothing I'll be craving anytime soon.

I've been meaning to comment that the weather here is beautiful. Endless blue skies and weather in the 60's. I'll take it. Jack Frost can nip at someone else's nose...for now.

"underground cattle cars"

We didn't stroll leisurely down the Banyan tree streets. Instead, we ended up feeling rushed and had to leave long before we were ready as we really wanted to stop at Carrefour and see about some Cheerios for the ride home and our guide offered to have the bus drop us off there if we left when the bus left.

Carrefour did have the Cheerios (hooray!) and a few other odds and ends we needed (and some that we didn't). When we came out of the Carrefour we decided to try to find the subway rather than hailing a cab. I braved up and asked a guy on the street for directions and although he didn't speak English, he gave me enough info that I could figure out the general direction. We actually did find the subway and had a nice walk in trying to get there. We successfully purchased our fares and navigated our way through a line change to arrive at our hotel. Hooray!! It was not as crowded as it was on Sunday, but was still a bit like a bunch of "underground cattle cars" in Steve's words.

Just a few minutes after we arrived home, the phone rang and it was Ann asking if we could meet her in 15 minutes for jade shopping. Uh, sure.

Skippy Fishlips dines in the buff

By the time we finally got home, it was a little after 7 and poor Carter hadn't had supper and also hadn't had a nap to speak of. He was already short on sleep since he couldn't fall asleep until 11 the night before, so he was just worn out.


We decided on the way up that we'd give him the cup of noodles we'd purchased (What a banner day for nutrition - he ate seasoned potato wedges for breakfast (although he also had yogurt, watermelon, and a banana) since we were so happy that he was trying something new - then he had McDonald's for lunch and raman for supper. Where do we pick up our awards?! Ha!), and one of us would run to Pizza Hut for a pizza for supper.

We raced down the hall to the room with Carter giggling and laughing the whole way and we were barely through the door and he was shucking clothes. First his shirt, then the beloved pink pumas (with much praise) and then his diaper and pants. (I figured those were coming off since he had to potty while we were in the subway and we had no choice but to tell him to go in his pants again and nowhere to change him, so I knew he'd be getting rid of the soggy feeling asap!) Then he delightedly wanted to be put up on the bed so that he could roll around and request "chuckah" again and again and again. We happily obliged. I set to work boiling water for his noodles and suddenly he was telling me something and squatting on the floor. We RAN to the bathroom and had a visit from the la bah bah fairy. Hooray!! He hadn't gone again since the first time and we were starting to get worried again. He was just as excited as we were, I think!

Then we made him put a diaper back on since I did my best, but the bed linens are white and the couch is tan and we didn't want any surprises! Steve left to get the pizza and Carter had no desire to put on clothes, so Skippy Fishlips (I can't remember if I said why we call him that...he skipped to dinner one night and Steve said, "we should call him Skippy" and then he uses his lips in such an adorable fishy way to eat noodles....Skippy Fishlips is his Mafia name now.) dined in the buff. He thought it was pretty funny and frankly, so did I. He ate the entire huge bowl of raman noodles and then dug right in to our pizza when Steve got back. We put him to bed right after that and he is still sleeping now, 11 hours or so later. I know he needs it - poor little guy.

We're headed to Shamian Island this morning to have his TB skin test read (you can't even see it anymore, so I presume he passes) and then do some shopping. HOWEVER, we have the whole rest of the day to ourselves, so we're going to take things at a leisurely pace and stop to stroll the long Banyan lined corridors and I'm bringing the bubbles for some good old fashioned fun. Hopefully this can be a much more fun day for Skippy.

Hi ho Hi ho, it's a-shopping we will go

After our highly nutricious (maybe not) certainly delicious lunch, we rushed back to meet our shopping guide, Ann, in the hotel lobby. She is TINY. I'm pretty sure her waist isn't much bigger than Kailin's, although she is taller. What she lacks in size she more than makes up for in personality. She was fantastic!

There were 11 adults and 4 children on our escapade and we all decided to brave the subway. It was a lot like the Taiwan subway but about 100 times more crowded. I wish we'd have gotten a picture of the crowds. It was AMAZING. It was Sunday, so that is everyone's one day off a week (reminder to self - say a prayer of thanksgiving for labor unions!). It happened to coincide with our "free day" so that's when we went shopping, but we probably couldn't have picked a worse day crowd wise.



We made it, though, and our first stop was the traditional clothing market. Ann knows the shop owner and doesn't let her charge any more than wholesale, so we got some excellent bargains on traditional clothes for the kids. Carter had a fairly major meltdown while we were at the fabric market. I think he was just SO tired and then he was also still a little angry with Steve for locking him out of the bedroom while I took a shower (he was playing with buttons and kept turning the lights off on me, so Steve took him in the living room and Carter didn't like that one bit and held a HUGE grudge). So when Steve tried to grab him so I could take a look at some things, he had a humungo two year old tantrum and was kicking and wailing. As soon as I was physically able, I took him - if this were not a key bonding period and had we not been in public in a foreign country, we'd have let him scream it out! - and he calmed right down and promptly fell asleep on my shoulder. I SO wished he fit better into our Moshi carrier - my back was SCREAMING after carrying him through the subway! I carried him most of the day and was fine, but when he's a limp noodle and I can't put him on my hip, 33lbs gets heavy FAST!

Next we were off to the pearl market. WOW. Store after store stacked floor to ceiling with pearls. Ann was extremely picky about the quality and even within a "hank" of pearls, she'd pick out the best necklaces for whomever was buying. It was really interesting to watch the ladies string the pearls. They knot between each pearl and work QUICK! Carter was a champ - he sat very patiently and waited for all of us moms. Even some of the dads weren't as patient as Carter was! We gave him snacks and water and he clearly forgave Steve as he kept asking for "baba bao ba" which is "daddy hug me". I felt bad because he told us he needed to go potty (he whispers it quietly in my ear) and then I sent him with Steve to the men's room and it was closed so then I high tailed it off to the women's room and it was also closed and we had to tell him to pee in his diaper. I felt terrible for him. He hates doing that. So I made it better. I yanked his pants down right there and put a nice, new, dry diaper on him. I figured if the Chinese people can let their kids run around in split pants with their hiney's hanging out, I can change my two year old in the middle of the mall. Finally everyone was through and it was time to pay. I wouldn't normally publish what we spent, but I'm just so wowed...I spent about $200US and got pearls that I think would appraise somewhere around $2000. It was REALLY hard not to go hog wild in the pearl shop. Everything was so beautiful!


We came out of the pearl market to find that darkness had fallen and it was 6:45. What a light show on some of the buildings!! Sadly, with so many families shopping, we ran out of time for the jade market. We are going to try to find a time for Ann to take us back there. I hope it works out! Ann's fee was $10/hour/family and she was worth every penny.

Six Banyan Temple

This morning at breakfast, Carter was making eyes at some very attractive middle eastern stewardesses sitting hear us. It was pretty cute. We saw one in the bathroom when he made his, now ritual, after breakfast potty run. She was talking to him and although he didn't answer, he batted his long eyelashes and flashed her a smile. Stinker.

He's got five English words now. "NO!" "stinker" "sassy!!" "dude" and "tickle". Tickle sounds more like "chuckah" and dude sounds a lot like "dude-eh" or "doodia". Sassy came about because we play a game where I kiss him and then he wipes it off again and I declare him "sasssssy!!!" in a jokey voice. This morning at breakfast he was being "sassy" and then he kissed me and I wiped it off and he declared me "sassy" right back. ha!


We met the rest of the group to go to Liurong (Six Banyan) Temple. We visited Six Banyan when we were here adopting Kailin. It's a gorgeous place and you can have the Monks bless your child. It ended up to be a little bit of a fiasco because the Monk blessed me (and the other parents) but skipped Carter and then about 3/4 of the way through the blessing, Carter became absolutely terrified and was howling and screaming and even my holding him wouldn't calm him. He and I ended up getting up and leaving. I was sure he was having to go potty or something, but that wasn't it at all. Hopefully that's not his reaction to church when we get home!!

After Six Banyan our guide wanted to take us to a "traditional tourist" store where they sell high quality (read - way overpriced) EVERYTHING. The store had tea sets, calligraphy sets, dresses, jade, pearls, screens, fans.....everything. We had already arranged to go out shopping with a private guide (who doesn't take kickbacks) in the afternoon, so we didn't really buy anything. Carter and I invented a game (I was strolling around carrying him because it was a bit like coralling a bull in a china shop!) where I would show him an animal (on a pot or a fan or a key chain) and say its name in Chinese and then he would insist that it was a "nice dog" in Chinese. Then I'd tickle him and love on him. Rinse and repeat. It was fun and he got a huge kick out of it.


We came back to the hotel and didn't have long before we were supposed to meet our guide for shopping, so we decided to just hit McDonald's for lunch. I thought it would be expensive, but actually it was less than $9 for the 3 of us and Steve even got a milkshake. We're going to have to go back at least once more - at least for dessert. The pies here are pineapple or taro! I have to try those. Steve's "strawberry shake" turned out to be strawberry mango and it was delicious! We weren't sure how Carter would do with fast food, but we were willing to give it a go. Although I wouldn't have thought so before today, I think he's had McDonald's before. He dug RIGHT into the nuggets we got him and ate the french fries with delight.

Then it was off for some shopping, but that's another story.

medical exam day

Yesterday morning we discovered that our hotel has a beautiful waterfall! We can see it from our room, but as it is only turned on certain hours of the day, we hadn't noticed it when we checked in on Friday night. We can see the top of it from our hotel room and the "main show" from the restaurant where we eat breakfast. There is also a beautiful garden in the back with a huge koi pond and a bridge. We explored it a little bit later in the day, but will definitely be back again!

After breakfast we met our group in the lobby. Everyone seems very nice. The group dynamic made Carter very unsure and he tried pretty hard to get me to take him elsewhere. I humored him a bit, but did cajole him back to the group after a few minutes. Only one other family has a child over two and he is five. Another family brought their five year old with, so those boys are having a pretty good time playing boy things - cars, planes, and trains are a universal language, right? One of the families was kind enough to share a plane with Carter so he could join in, but he opted to hold his plane and watch for now. It'll be interesting to see if that changes today!

We loaded onto a bus and went over to Shamian Island (where we stayed last time we were here). Some of the shops we visited when we were adopting Kailin are still there, but many of them have closed. With the numbers of adoptions greatly reduced, it's made a huge impact on the businesses here, I would guess. Carter (I almost wrote "Colby"...hmmm...I guess THAT'S starting already!) did great on the bus ride, but was unsure again when we arrived. It must have been a popular day for medical exams because the island was swarming with families. I think that was contributing to Carter's uncertainty.

We got in line for visa pictures. When it was Carter's turn he didn't want to sit in the chair and we all know that he prefers not to smile in photos. I got the resulting visa pictures later and I just have to say....if looks could kill.... let's just say that he will share a having a "lovely" CoC picture with his sister, who was sobbing in hers.

While we were waiting for everyone to finish the pictures, Carter was restless so I took him across the street to walk along the Pearl River. We walked a bit and then I turned around to wave at Baba and when Carter saw him he began very emphatically telling me that Baba needed to be with us. We went back, but at least one of us needed to stay with the group, so we couldn't walk the river together. Carter was determined to GO so I tried to send him with Baba and that was a huge NO GO. Luckily we didn't have much longer to wait.

As we walked to the familiar medical center,I walked ahead a few paces talking to another mom. Carter asked to walk (I can't say half the stuff he does, but I am learning to recognize key Chinese phrases and can now respond accordingly), so I put him down. He ran back to Steve and asked to be picked up. Then he asked to be put down and took Steve by the hand and dragged him over to me. I guess he didn't want us to be apart.


We arrived at the medical center and went in to join the chaos that always seems to exist there. After some instructions from our guide and some forms, we started shuffling through stations. ENT was first (and kind of laughable). Quick flashlight in the eyes and ears and a squeaky toy on each side of his head to see if he looked. Pass. Then we had him weighed and measured. As I don't have the form, I don't know how tall the nurse said he was, but I do know he weighs 15kg on the head. He is a TALL boy. We have had A LOT of comments from Chinese people and Americans alike. He'll fit right in with his siblings since they also tend toward the top of the growth chart that way. Then we had his "medical and surgical" exam. When Kailin had hers, we had a very brusque doctor and she wailed through the whole thing. This time, we had a very kindly older doctor and Carter was quite brave even though we had to remove the beloved pink pumas for a few minutes. He checked out just fine (we knew he would) and then we just had one more station - the TB skin test. Ick. I was so NOT looking forward to that one. We had to sit in the chair waiting longer because they ALWAYS do the test on the left forearm and guess what? Not possible. Finally, they decided that they could do it on his right forearm, but of course they had to change a bunch of paperwork to do that. Carter was so brave. He fussed when he saw the needle, but only made a small fuss when she injected the tuberculin. It was all over with nary a tear and we were freed to walk around for just a few minutes. We made a 7-11 run since Steve and I were dying of thirst, and got Carter his very own small bottle of.....DANONE water! Not Dannon....looks like Dannon, but it's Danone! We were pleased to see it. STILL no "coke light" and my hope is dying by the minute.

Back on the bus to the hotel, Carter had a blast drinking his own water bottle, but it was clear that he was very tired. I had to go and do paperwork in the afternoon, so we figured it was going to be a nap kind of day. We had a little time for lunch, so we thought we'd head upstairs and dump our stuff and then go find something. Most of the other families either had babies who needed to be put down for a nap or were about to see the pediatrician who is traveling with us, so we decided that we'd head out on our own.


We got back to the room, intending to stay just a few minutes. To our utter shock, Carter walked right over and took his pink pumas off and put them where we keep the shoes. I think both Steve's and my jaw literally dropped open. But the boy wasn't done yet. Oh, no. Next his shirt came off. Then he went for his pants. By the time he was done...we had a streaker on our hands! Oh it was lovely. He's come SO far in just six days. SO far. I'm so so so proud of him. We let him run around that way for a little while and then we did have to go.

We walked outside to endless blue sky and very moderate temps. It was GREAT! A LOT more people here speak at least some English, and even more than that understand it, so it's been a very welcome change. I can't stress enough that I do NOT expect anyone to speak English here. It's my obligation to learn the native language. Seeing as I have not, it's very welcome when someone can come to my aid. We walked along a street full of shops and restaurants (I'm pretty sure I saw a deep fried centipede on a stick!) and decided to duck into the "deli bistro" because their ad showed wonton noodle soup (a sure hit with Carter) and also sweet and sour pork. Sweet and sour here is a lot different from sweet and sour at home, and we love it. We didn't see it at all in province. We also ordered a coconut milk. Carter LOVED that and true to form, ate all of the dumplings and drank quite a bit of the broth from the soup. Quickly, I had to head back and as I got up to pay, it became clear that our overtired little guy wasn't going to let me out of his sight, so we all walked back to the hotel. I got off the elevator on the 10th floor and Steve said that Carter did okay, but I guess when they got back to the room and Steve noticed that he was trying to lay down for a nap on the very narrow couch and suggested that they move to the bed, chaos and a major tantrum ensued. He went out like a light and was still dead asleep nearly 2 hours later.

We had to wake him to go to dinner with two other couples from our group and that didn't go well. I accidentally worsened the situation infinitely by removing the beloved pink pumas so I could put him on the toilet. I'm growing to believe that they are his security blanket and when he is feeling sure of himself, safe, and confident they can come off and when he's not, on they must stay. I finally solved the issue with a cracker and we went to the lobby to meet our friends.

We had Italian for supper and to our surprise, Carter loved both pizza and cheese sticks! I guess he can come home to WI after all! We had a great supper and then came back to the hotel to get Carter to bed. He had a really hard time falling asleep - probably due to his late nap, but he did finally fall asleep and then so did we and now today is a new day. Lots on the menu for today, so I best get in the shower so we can get the show on the road.

Babaaaaa!!

**I wrote this post yesterday, our Saturday, but couldn't get the pictures to load.**


Carter was a real trooper yesterday. He did get a two hour nap in the afternoon, but it was a LONG day. We got some noodles around 3:30, knowing that we wouldn't have much chance for dinner. At 4:45 we locked the suitcases and put Carter's backpack on him. He was visibly upset, but didn't cry. We assured him that things would be fine and made our way to the lobby to check out.

The reception girls were eager to help us check in - and I had to make it clear that we were checking out. Funny, with the reception counter on the 5th floor, we didn't go near there very often. I assure you EVERYONE else in the hotel knew us and what our room number was. We didn't even have to give it at the restaurant anymore! They wanted to talk to Carter and tried English and we told them that he is Chinese. They tried Chinese, but he came and hid behind my legs. Our guide arrived and we made our way to the elevators. One of the reception girls took Carter by the hand and I let her because I knew that he'd come right back to us again and in fact, he turned back every 3 steps to make sure we were following. We got downstairs and off the elevator and then Carter got jostled and fell down. Both the guide and the woman from reception attempted to comfort him. Unh-uh. That's MY job! I thought I was polite, but forceful. Steve called it a "double shoulder block". I scooped him up and he stopped crying pretty quickly.

We loaded into the van and I could again tell that Carter was pretty nervous. Fortunately, there were lots of big trucks on the road and he was really enjoying looking out the window. We arrived at the airport just after we nearly t-boned a cement mixer, and piled out. When it was time to send our suitcases off, Carter got really upset. I asked the guide to tell him that we will get our things back. I don't know if it helped or not, but it made ME feel better.

At the security counter, I placed all three of our passports on the counter. Before she opened them, the security check looked at me and Steve and then at the two American passports and one Chinese, probably wondering which of us had dual citizenship. I pointed to Carter and she popped up over the counter and looked at him and smiled. He marched right through the metal detector and everyone was smitten. I set it off, somehow, and had to be wanded. To my great relief, he waited patiently.

In the crowded waiting area, he sat peacefully on my lap. He decided to open the front pocket of his backpack (normally there's nothing in there). I'd stuck a bowl of Cheerios in there and the look on his face was PRICELESS!!! He was ELATED and happily dug in. He dropped a couple and was determined to get right down on the disgusting floor and get them. No way, Jose! Thankfully, I just learned (from him, no less) the words for "very bad, broken!" That worked and then Steve smashed them on the sly just to make sure.


Soon it was time for our flight and he trooped right along. He got right in his seat and let us buckle him in. I got out his Thomas book and we paged through it and then I gave him a cracker to eat as we took off. He only looked a bit frightened once and then was fine basically the whole flight. He had a little mini-meltdown at one point, but Steve says he recovered nicely. I, on the other hand, spent the whole flight attempting to doze because I was once again sick. I don't know if it's an altitude or pressure thing because I was sick for parts of the flight and not for other parts. I may see if we can find that Carrefour so that we can lay in a supply of Cheerios for the trip home and also maybe find some Dramamine. I hope that helps, because I sure don't want to stick Steve on solo duty the whole way home!

By the time we landed it was 9:30. Carter fell asleep in the van on the way to the hotel and woke up when we got here. He was determined to walk on his own, but I wasn't sure he was going to be physically able to. Ha! True to form, he perked right up and got a second wind and by the time we were getting settled in the room, he was running excitedly around playing chase games with Steve.

Whenever Steve has...let one fly....I've said, "Babaaaa!!" in a goofy voice. I was in getting a very wound up, squirmy Carter into his pajamas when from the living room area (we have a suite of sorts this time) we heard a familiar sound. Carter stopped what he was doing and said, "Babaaaaaaaa!!" It was priceless. Steve later sat down at the desk where there is a somewhat squeaky chair and Carter has decided that that is "Babaa!!", too. Ha!

The winds of change continue to blow!!

I only have time for a short post this morning but couldn't go without saying that we've had some big changes around here. This morning we've been treated to a nearly continous chorus of "bao ba" (hold me). Note that I said WE! Carter has been loving on Steve a whole bunch today and it's wonderful to see. It's hard, though, to walk around all day with a huge lump in your throat on the verge of tears!

In other promising news, as we were laying in bed goofing around this morning, Carter pulled up his shirt and offered me his belly - pretty serious business - and then topped that by taking his short arm out of his sleeve and offering me that. I kissed it and tickled in his armpit. It was sheer bliss!

Another interesting development is that earlier this week Carter wanted us to do everything for him - feed him, hold his water bottle, and wipe even a drop of water off his lip. We have since learned that he's perfectly capable of feeding himself, holding his own water bottle and even of using it to wipe his own lip. It's got me wondering if we were being tested earlier this week - to see if we would truly care for him. Now he knows that we will and he's ready to be a little more self sufficient.

Lastly, and perhaps almost equally as important as him accepting Steve, we have finally been visited by the lah bah bah fairy. (Carter finally managed to poop.) We were getting pretty worried about him as he was continuing to eat like crazy, but wasn't putting anything out. Hooray for that development!

We leave tonight for Guangzhou and I'm a little sad. Although Hefei has maybe not been our favorite Chinese city, it is a piece of Carter's history (or at least this province is) and tonight he will leave it behind. On the other hand, I'm excited to join our group. We will see what his first airplane ride brings! I'm sure there will be a story to tell!

a banner day!

We had to wake Carter up for breakfast this morning since we were meeting Penny at 9 to head to the Hefei Wildlife Sanctuary. He was HARD to wake up and when he did wake up he wavered between grumpy and giddy. We went up to breakfast and things didn't get much better.

All of a sudden, he was off his chair and headed over to Steve. He asked to be picked up and of course Steve obliged. That move was the beginning of an awesome transformation. Although he is still likely to choose me and is quick to turn on Steve when he's angry, we actually had a day like a regular old family! (Well, a regular old family who has an almost three year old eager to exert his independence and prone to being a little naughty from time to time.)


I think that having stayed in the room all of yesterday really helped things and then today we wore the little booger out walking around the zoo. When we got home we got takeout from the noodle place. I got some noodles and also some fried rice. Carter ate his fill and then grabbed a spoon and started feeding Steve. It was pretty cool and also quite amusing since Carter apparently doesn't feel that there should be any lag time (to chew and swallow) between bites. Then we went for a long walk. Steve pushed Carter in the stroller since it was too far for us to carry him and too crowded for him to walk. We went back to the outdoor mall we'd walked to on Sunday. My oh my were we a spectacle this time! People did the "tall white woman" stare and then took a look at my baby and then inevitably they took another look and then looked from me to Steve to Carter and back again. It was kind of hysterical. All the Chinese people think that Carter is really cute because he has "big eyes". We literally stopped traffic once.

We meandered through a park on our way home and on the way out of the park passed by people with tables set up selling their wares. I missed it, but Steve noticed that one of the tables was selling "American Visagra". He said that table had a little dvd player going and he didn't even want to think about what they were showing. Ha! By the time we got home, Carter was just BEAT, but we decided to dump our stuff in the room and walk the short distance to the mall nearby and hit the grocery store for some "cup of noodles" for supper. Carter really only wants to eat noodles anyway. For a variety of reasons, we're calling him "Skippy Fishlips - Noodle King Extraordinaire". Anyway, we walked over to the store and by the time we got home at 5:15, he could hardly keep his eyes open. He did eat some noodles, but then lounged on my chest while he lazily munched on Cheerios. That kid fully believes that Cheerios are the perfect condiment for any meal. He has literally eaten noodles and cheerios at the same time, put a single cheerio on every bite of his prunes at lunch today, and has even attempted to add them to his water!


He got a second wind after dinner and we had a great time laughing and playing together. To top the whole day off, Carter let Steve tickle him! It was an amazing day and we are sincerely hoping that we've turned a corner. Even if we haven't, we've made amazing progress these few days is nothing short of amazing and we are so thankful that things have gone as smoothly as they have.

pink Pumas

Carter has pink Pumas. They're probably not really Pumas. They're probably really Pumos or Pimas or maybe even Fumas. (Anyone remember Danone water or "Mike" shoes?)

Carter loves his pink Pumas. They are at least two sizes too big and they have sparkly laces. His greatest joy in life is the moment when we tell him he can put them on in the morning and likewise, his greatest sorrow is having to take them off at night. The night before last the shoe removal went fairly well, but last night he was beyond tired and had just been allowed to stow his sunglasses in his backpack, but was not allowed to put the backpack back on. Then we announced it was bedtime and not only asked him to use a western toilet, but shucked his beloved pink Pumas. He did okay until I made it clear that he wasn't going to be putting them back on after the bathroom visit.

To be honest, if he slept alone we might just let him sleep with the shoes on for now, but he doesn't sleep alone and he does often loop his leg over Steve while we sleep and having a hard soled shoe rammed into you during the night is perhaps not conducive to getting good sleep. Moreover, they are high quality vinyl and make his feet sweat something terrible. His tootsies need to breathe. And so the pink Pumas must come off. He repeatedly tried to get over me to retrieve them and eventually Steve had to put them in the closet.

Carter howled like I haven't heard him howl since Monday. He was wracked with sobs and it broke my heart into a million pieces. He lay next to me and cried and cried. I held his hand and stroked his cheek and promised him that everything would be okay, but I know he didn't understand my words. I can only hope that he found some comfort in my warmth and in my touch. He cried himself to sleep and it killed me not to go and get the shoes and put them back on his feet. Oftentimes parenting is making the hard choice for the good of your child, but it should feel better than it does when you have to do that.

I can't imagine feeling like taking your shoes off means the world will end, but I know what he has lost so very much and has so little that he can call his own - so little control in his life right now. You can bet that we will let him put his pink Pumas on first thing in the morning and he won't have to take them off until bedtime tomorrow night. Whatever small thing I can do to ease his pain I will do.

I have a feeling that we'll be touring the zoo today with a boy wearing a blue penguin backpack, red sunglasses, and pink Pumas. If you're going to be a spectacle, you might as well do it right, right? I'll post a picture of the Pumas later, but the boys are still sleeping and I don't want to wake them.

journey

Adoption is an amazing journey. None of my three experiences has been the same. Each child's story is their own and they came into our lives in very different ways, from different backgrounds, at different ages. Still, they are all my own as much as if I had carried them inside of me. Although the process of bonding and falling in love with them has been different each time, I would gladly lay down my life for any of them and I do not know what my life would be like without them. When God calls you to add a child to your family, He has a plan, and to act any differently would have cost me in ways I will never fully understand. My life is infinitely changed for the better with the blessings each of our children have brought.

The boy who lays sleeping, snuggled into the man I love, works his way further and further into my heart every minute I am with him. It's impossible not to love and adore him. He is such a bright spirit. Complex and contemplative, he takes life in and is shy around strangers, but is animated, goofy, and a total ham when he feels safe. His impish grin is irresistible and totally infectious. He is amazingly tender and he both breaks and fills up my heart every time he gives me a hug and says "shie shie" (thank you). He's got wide, deep brown, soulful eyes that are full of emotion and can cut you to the bone when he believes you have hurt him.

I have only begun to know him and already I cannot imagine my life without him. God works in amazing and mysterious ways. I am so very thankful that He has chosen to bless me with three beautiful children and that He opened my heart to receiving them. There are not words to express the emotions I am feeling right now but infinite gratitude and overwhelming joy are absolutely among them.

backpack....backpack....

You thought I was going to leave you with no pictures, didn't you? Although this post will publish after the last one I did, so you'll see the pictures first anyway. Foiled again! Ha.

Yesterday was cold and rainy and we spent most of it in the room. Initially (as I said in my earlier blog post) I was pretty bummed because it can be a challenge to entertain a 2 year old in a very finite space (most of which is taken up by various beds in our case as we still have a rollaway cot and a crib in our room) with very limited toy options.


We made lemonade with our lemons yesterday, and had a great time doing it. First, Carter discovered the joys of an iPod. It makes me wonder if he will be musical like his brother is. He sat and listened for quite awhile. He's apparently a fan of Elizabeth Mitchell, Dan Zanes, and whoever sang "Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes" on the children's compilation we own.

We played a game on the bed where he banged on the bed with his hand and I fell over. Then I asked him for a hug and got that and a softly spoken story in my ear. I love listening to him jabber in Chinese. I know that all too soon it will be gone and I wish he weren't so camera shy or I would try to film it. He has a sweet voice and listening to the rise and fall of the tones in a language I can't speak allows me to focus on the sweetness and gentle lilt of his voice instead of on what he's saying. After the story I rocked back onto the bed and brought him up over my head. He loved it and wanted more, more, more.

Our lunchtime take out came in a reusable bag from the hotel. Carter saw it laying on the table and started playing with it. I took his bear and his monkey over and dropped them in. Then it was a game to see what other stuff we could find for him to put in there. It was a little hard for him to keep it up on his shoulder and I remembered that I brought a little penguin backpack we have for him to use as a carryon on the plane. I dug it out and he was positively delighted with it and immediately transferred his loot over to the backpack and started searching for more stuff to jam in there. In went the styrofoam airplane we brought. It joined the cars, bear, monkey, and a few other things I can't remember right now. Steve's iPod joined the loot with a coy look and an impish grin. we put the backpack on his back and he admired himself in the mirror for quite some time.

I brought out the aquadoodle book I brought. He was initially quite interested, but didn't seem to car for the "Cars" characters. He thought maybe the pen would work on our "Chicka Chicka Boom Boom" book. It didn't. The pen and the aquadoodle book went into the backpack.

As I was trying to blog later in the afternoon, Carter came over to the desk and saw his envelope of pictures laying there. He reached across me to get it and took it over to the bed and extracted all of the pictures. He identified the dogs, although he called Sugar "xiao go" which literally means "little dog" which she is not. Xiao is also a term of endearment, though, and I feel like that's probably how he meant it. He also noted jiejie and gege again, and then was excited to tell baba that he saw him, too! I think that made Steve pretty happy! I know that his foster family and the social welfare institute spent time with him preparing him and I will be eternally grateful to them for doing it. I do truly believe that it's made this process easier.

As he was putting the pictures back into the envelope, he came across a couple of pictures I had put in there of him - from the last batch we got. He looked carefully at them and pulled out the one we learned is of him and his best friend. He studied it and told me his friend's name (I'm going to confirm with the orphanage director so we can know that for him for later) and then identified the person standing behind the two of them (who is nearly entirely cut off save a portion of her coat) as "ah mama". I know it's his foster mom based on her coat. I was worried that I should have taken those pictures out for now, but he was okay. He tried to fold that picture and put it under his short arm (where he keeps things that he wants to keep safe) and then thought better of it and looked at me and asked if we could put it in his backpack. I told him yes and he lovingly laid the picture out and smoothed it gently and then gingerly handed it to me. I put it carefully into his backpack and he was visibly relieved. And now I'm crying again typing this. I want to show him the photos we got on his adoption day so that he can tell me who those people are before the memories are gone (I know some of them, but not all), but I know he'll insist on having them for himself and until I can get copies made, I can't bring myself to turn them over.



On a lighter note, he thought again and decided that the rest of the photos probably ought to go in the backpack as well. In they went. He's been wearing his knit bear hat around the room and although it's really cute on him, it can get a bit hot, so I dug out the baseball hat we brought for the Guangzhou portion
of the trip and thought he might like that. Amusingly, he immediately thought that it belonged to baba. Steve showed him that it would be too small and took his bear hat off so he could try it on. The bear hat went back on, but he did wear the baseball cap on top of that for awhile. We also played a game where he yanked the bear hat all the way down over his face and then took turns "scaring us" and playing peek-a-boo. I cannot get enough of his giggles and his smile is one of the brightest I've ever seen.

I remembered that I brought some sunglasses for him and got those out next. I wasn't sure how he'd like them, but oh my. He wore them for the rest of the day! He experimented with the lights - on...off....look around....on...look around...off...look around. We put the sunglasses up on his forehead and that was giggle-worthy.
Then I got out the finger flashlights that St. Nick brought him and those were a huge, huge hit. When he was done playing he carefully returned them to their ziploc baggie and...yup...into the backpack they went.


Then I got out some mittens I brought along in case it was really cold. Carter knew what they were immediately and held out his hand. I put a mitten on it and I guess his attitude is "waste not want not" because he looked at his short arm and then held out his hand so I could put the second mitten on that. He was pleased as punch. Steve and I had a good laugh. He wore them around for awhile and then asked to have them off. They didn't earn backpack status. I guess he figures they wouldn't fit either of us, so we have no use for them and they are safe left laying around.


He brought me my shoes and pulled my legs off the bed and indicated that I should probably put the shoes on. I did. He took me by the hand and walked to the door. We took a lap around our floor, sunglasses, backpack and all. He chattered to me the whole time.

I was really worried that we'd be taking the backpack to dinner with us because the restaurant we usually eat in has stools and the backpack is growing heavy with all of its bounty. I could just see us making a scene with our new child falling backward off the stool when we're already a spectacle and of course I didn't want Carter hurt. We compromised and he wore his sunglasses to dinner and left the backpack here and it was okay with him. Thank goodness for small favors!

He was quite thankful to see it resting peacefully on the bed when we returned. Sadly, it was already way past bedtime, but that's another story entirely.

In retrospect, I'm kind of glad we had a rainy day stuck in the hotel. If we hadn't, I'd have missed out on some really special, fun moments with my boy. On the other hand, we better not have any more days like this because I have no more tricks in my bag - literally or figuratively. I pulled out all the stops (and all the goodies) yesterday!