Lasts

Last night we ate at our big wooden table for the last time as a family of four. We had our traditional "pre-adoption fun supper" of donuts. It was bittersweet for me, I imagine as it is for anyone on the precipice of a major family change. As I looked around at my family laughing and giggling I was amazingly excited to add one more voice to the chorus and to share this wonderful family of ours with another child. At the same token, it's a little sad to me to know that this part of our life is ending and things will never be the same as they are right now. Of course the joy outweighs the sadness many times over and I know that in a few months I'll look back and wonder how our table ever felt normal without Carter at it. I felt the same emotions, perhaps even more so, when we were on the cusp of adding Colby to our family and although he's still a stinker sometimes, we adore him and wouldn't know what to do without him. One thing is for sure - Carter is eagerly anticipated, already loved and adored, and we ARE leaving in just a little over a day to go and get him!

excess poundage

We leave our home tomorrow to drop the kids off with our wonderful, amazing friends and then we'll have a last dinner date together before we leave for China on Friday. I can't believe that after nearly a year of looking at Carter's beautiful face, we will finally be on our way to bringing him home. In just days we will begin the process of making him ours - legally and emotionally. We are SO blessed to be afforded this opportunity to grow our family and to love a child. So blessed.

What we are not afforded is much luggage! Intra-China flights (of which we have one before we meet Carter) allow one piece of luggage per person. Each piece can weigh 44lbs. If it's more than 44lbs, not only do you have to pay a fine, but you have to leave the check-in line to go to a cashier and pay the fine. Not exactly convenient. While we don't think that it would be too big of an issue - especially if we flashed Carter's picture and begged, but we'd rather not have to do that. I am thrilled to say that as of the final packing, our bags weigh 44lbs and 42lbs! Hoooray!!! That's a huge load off my shoulders. Knowing that we have to pack for two different climates, I didn't know if we'd make it, but we did! No excess poundage here - at least not in the luggage. Thankfully we get an additional bag once we have Carter and the trip home shouldn't be an issue even if we do a little (or lot) shopping while we're there.

Naughty or Nice?

As I did last year, I made the kids videos from Santa using the Portable North Pole website. They're pretty cool (although this year's are not quite as cool as last year's since there are fewer "options" this year which makes the videos more generic and thus, for potentially Santa savvy children, less believable) and the kids loved them last year and have been asking when Santa might send them a video this year.

Tonight just before dinner, I gathered the troops and made the proclamation that the videos from Santa had arrived! Shrieks of delight resounded and both kids settled in to watch. The elves, it seems, have been busy constructing a machine that will determine if a child is on the naughty or nice list. After Santa discussed Kailin's location, age, some events in her year, and her most wanted Christmas gift, he ordered the elves to put her file into the machine. We all waited (except me, perhaps) anxiously for the determination. The green light came on, confetti rained down, and Kailin was declared "nice". Colby declared that she must have won something.

Soon it was Colby's turn and he was already fretting that he was sure he was going to make the naughty list (last year he was on the naughty watch list and boy did that cause a stir!). We watched through his video and the elves shoved the file into the machine.....waiting....fretting....waiting...ding! Green light. Colby was astonished and elated.

Both kids were waving excitedly at the screen and answering Santa's questions - true believers both of them. It gives me amazing joy to see the wonder in their faces and the delight they both get out of knowing that Santa saw their t-ball games, or our vacation, or their birthdays. I hope they are lost in belief like that for a long time to come. Those ten minutes of my life were precious beyond words and I truly hope that memory never fades.

Thanksgiving

Yesterday we spent the day giving thanks. There was family time, and lots of eating, and the cousins had a wild time playing together. I forgot my camera or I would post some pictures. Hopefully my wonderful sister will share her pictures with me.

We have so very much to be thankful this year - and all years. We are blessed beyond measure with a family and wonderful friends to love and support us, three beautiful children to love and adore, that Steve has a stable job, and we have a roof over our heads and food on our table. We have an amazing, loving, and forgiving God who does wonderful things in and with our lives. Those are the "big ones". I can't even hope to touch all the everyday blessings that we take for granted.

As the final countdown to China begins, I know that my life will become frazzled and crazy and out of control. I pray that I will remember to stop and say thanks each and every day for all the blessings I have received.

sew

I sewed Carter a couple of flannel blankets yesterday afternoon. It's something I've been meaning to do for awhile, and something I did for Colby before we went to get him. He still treasures his big flannel blanket, and I feel like it's one small way I can reach out to Carter and whether or not he feels the love in those stitches - I will feel it and take comfort knowing that my love surrounds him when my arms may not.

As I sewed I got to thinking about sewing. Sewing's been kind of a common thread (forgive the pun) in my life - and the women who have influenced my life were the ones who shared it with me.

Some of my earliest memories are of my grandma hoisting me up onto a stool to look at pattern books at the fabric counter. I can remember telling her that I liked a certain nightgown, but that I sure didn't like the fabric shown in the picture. Grandma taught me to be fearless with the sewing machine - she had me on her lap sewing on scraps far before my mother would have been comfortable with it. Grandma taught me how to thread a bobbin and thread the machine and how to reinforce seams. As I pushed the corners of the blankets out tight, I remembered that she taught me that, too.

When I moved out of my mom's house "for good", she bought me a sewing machine. My mom taught me to be independent - to equip myself with the tools I'd need to be a strong, capable woman whether that was having a sewing machine and knowing how to use it or having a hammer, wrench, and pliers and knowing how to use those. Every time I take on a new project - especially a "scary" one, I can feel my mom there urging me on and encouraging me to reach further and set my goals high and to have the confidence in myself to achieve them.

The year before Kailin came home, I took a quilting class with my mother-in-law. We had a wonderful time together choosing fabrics and sitting in class, laughing over our mistakes. My mother-in-law taught me that it's never too late to do something you've always wanted to do. It's never too late to learn something new. As I was cutting the fabric for Carter's blankets, I thought back to what we'd learned about cutting quilting fabrics and I smiled at the memories of that class we took together.

I made quite a few mistakes with Carter's blankets. I'm banking on him not noticing that his mom forgot that both of the fabrics she chose had linear patterns and on him not noticing that the cuts are far from straight. Some of the decorative seams don't match up exactly. It's okay, I've decided, for Carter to know right from the start that it's okay to make mistakes. And that making mistakes doesn't mean any less love went into the effort. I hope he like them as much as I enjoyed making them for him.

Durtles

Colby and I engaged in a friendly game of "Mario Brothers" - old school - after school today. I got to the level with the flying duck/turtles and Steve and I were joking that maybe that's where "turducken" really originated. Kailin said, "What are those, ducks or turtles?" We said they were kind of both. She said, "Oh! Then they must be durtles." I love that girl!

Surprise!!

A couple of weeks ago, we sent a final care package to Carter. We were hoping for some updated measurements and new photos, but there are never any guarantees. Last time the update came surprisingly quickly, but this time there was nothing. I had given up, figuring that they decided we could just wait a few more weeks.

Then this morning as I was sorting through my email - there was an email from the care package company with the blessed paperclip icon next to it. Five new photos of Carter! It looks like he has been moved to the orphanage, but it also looks like he's doing just fine. I wish he'd been able to stay with his foster family right up until we go to get him, but it seems like that's not the policy. Anyway, I'm thrilled to have these photos and the updated measurements. He's 33lbs! That's really only the 70%, but it seems big! His height comes in pretty close to 90%, so I'm guessing he's going to be built a lot like his sister.

I just can't wait to go and snuggle him up! What a wonderful day this has started out to be!

Give me a T! Give me an A! What's that spell?

TA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's right - our official travel approval is safely in the hands of our agency and they are awaiting confirmation from the US Consulate of our visa appointments. Hooooooray!!!! What a huge relief!! Here's hoping we have some solid travel plans within the next few days! I'm so very relieved! And excited! And a little bit terrified! And mostly excited! And kind of terrified! And slightly overwhelmed. But really excited!! It won't be long now!

slacking.

I'm a slacker. I didn't used to be a slacker. I'm blaming kids. I'm not necessarily blaming my kids. I'm just blaming kids. Durn kids. Turnin' me into a slacker.

At any rate, my slacker-ness has caused me to wait a full five days before announcing that we have received our Chinese visas. This is kind of an important unimportant step. Without them, we can't enter China - so they are important, but we still don't have our official travel approval, so we can't get our baby without that and thus, the visa step seems perhaps less monumental than it might if we were waiting on that last little step to get us to China. On the other hand, if we were to receive travel approval today and want to leave for China on Thursday, we could do that with Visas in hand and if we had travel approval and no Visas, it wouldn't work. Either way, I'm happy to have them (and our passports!) in hand.

I'm not going to get married...

I seem to be posting a lot of Colby stories lately. I'm wondering if it's because with Kailin in school all day, Colby's the one I am with for a bigger proportion of the day. Or he's just a huge character.

This morning, while playing castles and dragons, Colby announced to me, "Mommy, I'm never going to get married." Sometimes when my kids say something like that I just say "okay" and let it go. I'm SO glad that I asked him why. I expected to hear something regarding a dislike for girls, or a like for boys, or the desire to be an astronaut or a knight. What I got was amusing and thoughtful.

"Why aren't you going to get married, Colby?"
"Because I won't have any money to buy a necklace or a ring."
"Oh, Colbs, you'll have money by the time you're ready to get married. It'll be okay."
"How will I get money?"
"I imagine you'll have a job."
"What's a job?"
"Work - like Daddy goes to work every day."
"Wait. They PAY him for that?"
"Uh, yeah. That's pretty much the only reason he goes, honey."

I love that kid. A lot.